The moment I become attached to a person it’s so hard to let go, and they are all important to me, they are all important to me, but who am I to them? Am I this person who listen to their shits and say that everything’s going to be okay, give them advice about looking on the brighter side or am I this person to them who’s like me, just me, nothing more. How important am I to them? Maybe that’s the reason, I don’t feel important enough to feel important to them when I treat them so important. I can’t handle what things might happen to them and me, on what could happen to us.
Sometimes I feel like it’s okay for them to lose me but I can’t with them, I got so overly attached that I’m having issues of letting go and holding on, that’s what happens when I love a person dearly, and I love them dearly like with all of my heart and I don’t feel exactly the same, that’s why I’m trying to distance myself for awhile, give some time to think about what’s all happening, why’s this happening.
Sometimes you have to realize that people will eventually leave you, come and go, in and out of your life, and you have to accept those facts even though they’re hard to, you just need to.
I’m so having these thoughts lately, I just keep on hiding them so that they won’t have to worry or if they even feel worried. It’s so hard to paint a smile on your face everyday just so that everyone will stop asking what the fuck is wrong when inside you’re being killed slowly.
I just need some time to think, but that’s not gonna happen anytime soon, School is shitty, I feel shitty. Ugh.
I’m typing/writing this right now, gathering my thoughts, thinking of the outcome, thinking of all the possibilities, thinking of the future.
And if you read all through out this post, I’d like to thank you for reading and putting up with my shit. It is gladly appreciated. And I hope you feel loved.
Been having random thoughts lately…
I feel so unimportant to people, like I treat very important in my life and I just like feel shit to them. I just can’t express my thoughts right now, I don’t know what’s going on with me, I’ve never felt this way before but now all these feelings started emerging out of nowhere.
I don’t even wanna go to School anymore, I mean what’s the fucking point? I can’t open up with my friends, I just feel like they won’t understand me or what I’m going through. People judge all too easily, they have never been in my shoes and probably never will be. We have our own personal struggles. I just feel tired and shitty and fucking unimportant and jaded and taken for granted. I’m just tired of all these bullshits and I wanna escape them.
I don’t know what’s going on with me, I need someone to tell me that everything’s to be alright even though it’s not, I need to feel important to someone, I need to be loved, I need to feel loved. I have so many needs, I’m needy, that’s why, I’m such a needy person, maybe that’s my problem, I don’t know.
Sometimes I wonder what if one day I disappeared? Will someone bother to look for me? Will they be worried? Will they ask questions of where I am? I think not. It gets tiring from time to time. I feel like I always treat them all too importantly and when it comes to me I feel like I’m nothing to them.
I just wanna escape from all of these, I’m so fucking tired, this is so tiring, waking up everyday tired of life, hoping something new and inspiring will happen. I feel tired, uninspired, needy, unimportant, shitty. FUCK.